Parents Need to be on Offensive on Teen Drinking

By Alyssa Martina: Parent Coach

Being a parent is full of heart-stopping moments. From crossing the street to talking with strangers, our children's lives are peppered with experiences that are a heartbeat away from an accident or mishap.

As parents, our job is to worry about and forecast the "what ifs" and prevent as many calamities as possible. Being precautious is just one of the many job requirements of "Parent." Anticipating what curves lie ahead is a vital -- and possibly lifesaving -- competency with which every mom or dad wants to be imbued. Chief among these curves is the concern surrounding all-too-common and hazardous underage drinking.

It's homecoming season now and that means that your older - and younger - teens will be tempted to engage in homecoming festivities where alcohol may be a staple of the party scene. But your kids don't drink, right? Don't be so sure. The most popular time for children to try alcohol is in the eighth grade. According to the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism, 50 percent of eighth graders have tried alcohol and nearly 70 percent of eighth graders believe alcohol is "fairly easy" or "very easy" to get.

Just as disconcerting is the fact that the younger a child is when he first tries alcohol, the more likely he is to have a serious alcohol abuse problem later in life. Therefore, it's simply too late to begin the "don't drink" conversation when your kids are already teens or when you begin to see signs of teenage drinking.

It's a tough discussion that many parents naturally want to side-step altogether. Of course, no teen -- regardless of whether he or she drinks or not - is going to encourage having this conversation either; after all, teens want to feel grown up and they believe they are mature enough to make the right decisions.

They're not. Parents need to be on the offensive when it comes to teenage drinking. According to the National Institutes of Health, more than 5,000 underage drinkers die every year in accidents related to their drinking. If your own child isn't drinking, maybe he's riding in a car with a teen driver who is.

Parents must talk to their tweens and teens about alcohol, and the sooner, the better. The more willing you are to discuss this in a clear and positive way, the easier your kids will feel about coming to speak with you about it and the more likely you'll be to avoid the problem of teenage drinking before it even starts.

Other tips include providing cool alternatives for fun for your teenagers, being a good role model yourself when it comes to drinking and staying engaged with your kids even as they get older and seemingly don't need you quite as much. They do. You are the primary influencer in their lives, no matter their age.

Friends have an enormous influence over your kids as well. You need to know where your teens are and with whom they're hanging out. "Trust but check" was my friend's tried-and-true insight when it came to dealing with her own teens.

Teens often are confronted with difficult choices. Should they take part in the fun? Should they wait? It's hard to say "no" when their friends are pressuring them to say "yes." And we need to reward their good decisions.

Ultimately, it comes down to teaching our children to make sound choices that will impact their future in both small and large ways.

Alyssa Martina is founder, president and publisher of Metro Parent Magazine and one of Metro Detroit's foremost experts on parenting. You can reach her at amartina@metroparent.com.